fallen creation

Recently i have been thinking about the consequences of the fall which i know kinda encompasses all sin and damnation which isn't to be made little of because it meant the lord Jesus had to die for our sins.

The way its hit me recently though is in the awareness of self sense. It kinda began to hit me a few months ago when I was writing one of my assignments on how people tell stories to recreate how people see them.
One of the people i quoted made a comment about how people are only made aware of their own appearance and representation by how they see others. This reminds me of Adam and Eve when they were filled with shame about their naked bodies.

I think the thing is we look at other people and critique their appearance or how they come across and subconsciously we think they are doing the same to us. Does this mean that we all need to jus think less about judging people and how we appear.

In all honesty I think that we tend to get caught up so much in the superficial that we negate to focus on our development as a person. I know its not true of everybody but I think I'm starting to be more honest to myself about how I see things and it scares me that I could really be like that. I feel like I'm beginning to see how counter productive self awareness is. How harmful knowledge can be.

It's like when humanity fell and died spiritually we all gained a naive belief that knowledge is a good thing when really God wanted us to be safe in a dependence on his love and grace that didn't need justification and that we couldn't use earthly knowledge to deceive our selves, in our earthly attempts to live in sin and to be ignorant to his grace.

So because of this isn't knowledge in many ways just a synonym for temptation. The more we know the more arrogant we become and the more self righteous. we get to a point in our own sin that we really believe that don't need God.

For this reason I feel like earthly knowledge is kinda pointless, and I know I'm using knowledge as a broad term but i don't know how else to describe what I mean. I'm just on a journey to depend more on the Lord and pray he would reveal things to me at the right times that I may be used by him.

Sorry if I'm at all repetitive but I pray the Lord would use this to and bless you in his righteousness and the might of his glory, Amen.